Owning and training your dog


Ah, the humble dog. Furry bearer of unconditional love, affection, companionship - and a rocket-powered babe magnet to boot. You can almost see your new dog right now . . . running in the sun, chasing Frisbees, doing adorable tricks, puking on the rug at 3 a.m., chewing up your entire porn collection, shedding on everything in sight . . . Still want a dog? Then step right up, you've come to the right place.

Rearing a dog is like rearing a kid. Some dog owners PREFER to rear dogs than kids. But rearing & caring a dog take up a lot of your time. That is why you got this ebook for more information about rearing a dog for the first time or just wanted to get more information.

Enjoy this course. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the times you have with your dog. No wonder people said that “Dogs are man’s best friend”

Make sure that you ready to get a dog

Here's the dog owner's mantra, read it CAREFULLY: A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing.

Got it? No? Here it goes: A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing.

If you want a dog because you think it'll look great in that new BMW you just bought at 12% interest, think how much fun it will be when it tears up the leather upholstery so thoroughly that even the repo man is impressed. This isn't like buying a new pair of shoes. It's closer to having a child: A child that doesn't speak English and occasionally eats poop. If that thought sends you screaming from the room, consider another kind of pet like maybe a fish or a plant or a pair of shoes.

Repeat the mantra a few more times. A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing.
If you work from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. six days a week, you're going to have a lonely, unhappy dog on your hands. And how do dogs show their unhappiness? In the absence of being able to say, "Pay attention to me, Poindexter," they'll do things like pee on your high school yearbook or methodically eat all your CDs. This isn't their fault.

All together now – A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing. A dog is a living thing.

Here's a little "pop quiz" that will help determine if you are ready to add one more member to the family. Answer "yes" or "no" to the following questions:

1. Do you like dogs? I mean do you REALLY LIKE dogs?

2. Does the health of your household allow for a pet dog? (allergies, etc.)

3. Does your building allow dogs?

4. Are you financially secured?

5. Are you OK with picking up dog poop, mopping up dog pee, or cleaning up dog vomit?

If you answered "no" to anyone of these, then you're probably not ready to become a dog owner. That's OK, though . . . you're still allowed to like them.

Decide on a breed that is suitable for your lifestyle or personality

Getting a pet dog is really a Zen process of self-discovery. You can't know the right dog for you until you know yourself. For example, a jock would prefer an active dog. A lazy slug would prefer a dog that doesn't require much exercise. A touchy-feely person would prefer a friendly dog. A tightly-wound person would probably prefer a dog that doesn't bark or shed too much. Think of picking a pup like choosing a mate; you have to find one that compliments your personality.

Here are some very general guidelines. Of course, we won't list every dog breed on the planet, but they'll get you thinking in the right direction:

Intelligent dogs

• Poodle • German Shepherd • Australian Sheepdog • Belgian Sheepdog

Dogs with little exercise

• Dachshund • Brussels Griffon • French Bulldog • Manchester Terrier • toy breeds (such as a Chihuahua or Pekingese)

Good with kids

• Pug • English Cocker Spaniel • Beagle • Basset Hound • Brittany Spaniel • Old English Sheepdog

Good city dogs

• Pug • Basenji • Boston Terrier • Bulldog • Lhasa Apso • Welsh Corgi • Scottish Terrier

Quiet dogs

• Basenji • Borzoi • Chesapeake Bay Retriever • Greater Swiss Mountain Dog • Whippet

Friendly dogs

• Brittany Spaniel • Bichon Frise • Old English Sheepdog • Bearded Collie • Golden Retriever • Labrador


There are dozens of breeds and dozens of traits to sort them by. You get the idea.

Again, these guidelines are EXTREMELY rough. Picking a dog based on these lists is like getting a phone number off a bathroom wall. There are no shortcuts. You can try going to a dog show or talking to a vet. In our opinion, though, the absolutely best way to research is to talk to friends who have dogs. Believe us; they'll give you more information than you care to know: Sometimes even more than what we know.

In case you didn't realize it, all of the breeds we listed above are purebreds. This means that they are the product of parents of the same breed. To get a true purebred worthy of being in a dog show, you often have to pay thousands of dollars. Most people get mixes of some sort (the "cockapoo," a combo of a cocker spaniel and a poodle, is quite popular) because rumor has it that purebred dogs can have personality problems because the gene pool is so small (think of people who marry their cousins). As a result, many people choose to go with a mutt, a mishmash of different breeds. Mutts can combine the best of two or more breeds in a one-of-a-kind dog. Having a mutt is like the canine equivalent of owning an original work of art. Benji was a mutt. And who doesn't like Benji?

Is this all sounding like too much work? Then go back again to chapter 1 and reread, because the work is just beginning. A dog is a living thing, but millions of dogs die every year because their masters didn't realize how much work caring for a dog really is. We're not trying to bum you out, but this is nothing compared to how bummed you'll be if you become one of those failed former dog owners.

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Lesson Intro Video

(Next Lesson) Lesson 1: Decide what breed is best for your living environment
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